3, 2, 1....

Happy New Year? No. It wasn't. I've been rather emotional as of lately and I'm not sure why. I cried in Lowes the other night while talking to my Dad about the whole cousins and NYE thing. Then I pulled myself together, paid for my light bulbs, got to the car and had an ugly cry. It honestly felt good. I'd been holding it in. A good ugly cry is needed once in a while. That's just it, though. Once in a while. Not on New Years Day.

You remember band boy, right? Well, we have been seeing each other again lately. In my mind, things have been going very well. I lamely sent him an email telling him that I've missed him and would like to see where things could go. He and I have hung out a few times since and things have been like old times. But the good part of the old times. With all the drama of NYE plans, I decided to stay in BG. I was either going to stay at home with the couch, or convince Gary and Gina Marie to go out with me. We went watch Band Boy play at Tidballs. I had it all worked up in my mind. You know that scene in When Harry Met Sally? The one with their NYE kiss? Yeah. That's almost what I pictured. Some big romantic gesture to start new.

That's not AT ALL what happened. My friends and I had been hanging out in front of the stage all evening watching the band. Close proximity. My hopes were high and all of this confusion and "let's see where it goes" or "let's take it slow" stuff would be over. I know what I want. I've known for a while. Two band members kissed their loved ones. Me? No. I just stood there. Alone. Watching everyone else around me kiss the ones they love. Instant tears. Already, a minute into the new year and I have broken some of the "rules". You aren't supposed to cry on New Years Day. Me? Another ugly cry. If you do not kiss your significant other at midnight, you should expect a year of coldness. At this point, Band Boy is not my boyfriend. But, I was still hopeful. And I was let down. Oh, Sally. How I envy you.