Being a Parent

I've seen so many posts going around FB and twitter and some of the internet sites that I read about being a parent. There are just 2 that I wish to share today and discuss.

The first one is about being less judgmental of other Mothers and loving more. Unfortunately, I feel like the most judgmental people that I have encountered since becoming a Mom has been those without children. "Walk a mile in my shoes."

http://herscoop.com/posts/empowering-photo-series/

Although I read some of these signs and disagree with them, it's because they are ways that I do not wish to raise Lincoln. I have my own ideas about what he needs and how it's best to raise him. That doesn't mean that it is wrong for another Mom to choose these methods. Judge less and love more. This could be said in all aspects of life.

The second post I want to share is about how hard it is to be a parent. There are a lot of unanswered phone calls and text messages. Even from the week that I had Lincoln. Yes, I still have not returned several phone calls or texts from the week of July 17th. You read that correctly. It doesn't make me a cold-hearted person or a bad friend. For a long time I didn't know up from down. There are still some days/weeks/months that are like this. It's pretty hard. Do I love being a Mom? Yes. Is it worth all of the difficulties? Absolutely. I wouldn't change anything. In no way am I complaining. There are people going through a lot worse. But that doesn't change the fact that it is so hard.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-hamady/the-truth-about-being-a-parent_b_4251463.html

I have been pretty quiet about my life post baby. There's really only a couple of people that I have talked to about this, because they have made such an effort to be there for me and they understand my history. I have talked with my doctor about postpartum anxiety/depression. I have so many moments where Lincoln is all that matters in my world. That could be considered being a good Mom, but it can also be a slippery slope. I have to make an effort not to forget about Matt or my friends and family...not to mention myself. I love my doctor. It was like sitting down and talking with a good friend. She listened to all of my concerns and gave me her undivided attention. After she let me talk about how I was feeling, she gave me some advice. She also told me that she didn't think that I needed any medicine. I just needed to make more effort. Less effort with Lincoln and a lot more for myself and others. In no way was she telling me to neglect my child. Just that I need more balance in my life. My doctor even called back a couple of weeks later to check on me. She's a keeper.

I don't think that I am depressed. I think that I am anxious. When Lincoln cries, it's difficult for me. It's difficult for me to leave him and it's not getting any easier. Matt and I have only had one date since having Lincoln. I think I am finally to the point where I could fathom the thought of leaving him with someone to go on a date. Yes, he goes to a babysitter everyday. This is because I HAVE to. When it comes to having the option on the weekends, I just want to spend all my time with him.

Listen to me, please. I didn't know this before. No one told me and I was too selfish to ask. When your friend has a baby, be there for them. Be willing to talk to them. Ask them the hard questions and then listen to what they have to say. Not everyone has a difficult time, but some do. Please don't think that they have changed and that they don't care about you anymore. Yes, it takes effort from both parties in a friendship, but it's also important to take a step back and look at the whole picture. Your friend just went through a life changing experience. One that consumes their every thought at every moment of every day. They didn't buy a dog or a new car. They are now responsible for another human being. A human that was part of them long before they actually gave birth to them. One that they love more than anyone else on this Earth...including you.

More people need to be honest about what it's like to be a parent.